


Trying

by evilwriter37



Series: Intersex Hiccup AU [5]
Category: DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Intersex AU, Intersex Hiccup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21511762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilwriter37/pseuds/evilwriter37
Summary: Hiccup learns that his dad doesn't fully accept him.
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson
Series: Intersex Hiccup AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1358371
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	Trying

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering how two one-shots are out so fast, they're short and I hardly slept.

"How's the Edge treating you, Hiccup?" Stoick asked. Hiccup had come back to visit and the two were eating dinner together. 

"Pretty good," Hiccup answered. "I'm, uh, I started dating Astrid." He hadn't told his father this yet, but he figured that he could. 

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows at him, took a slurp of his soup. 

Hiccup played with his food, feeling a little nervous for what he would tell his dad next. "It's going well," he said. "We've, um... we've had sex."

Stoick put his bowl down. For a while there was just silence in the room. 

"So she knows."

Hiccup nodded, stirred his soup with his spoon, not looking at his father, afraid of what he would see there. He couldn't quite tell what his tone was.

"Hiccup, you were supposed to keep this a secret." Disappointment, anger.

"I was keeping it a secret," Hiccup said. "But I just... I thought it was the right time to tell her."

"And she didn't run away from you?"

Hiccup gripped his spoon tightly, met his dad's gaze, now feeling a little angry himself. "And why would she?" He and his father both knew he wasn't normal, and his father usually didn't even acknowledge that, didn't want to talk about it ever. Hiccup had gone through so much of this alone. It wasn't fair that his father got a say in what he did now. 

"That's not..." Stoick looked down into his bowl as if it would have answers there for him, or words. "I said the wrong thing."

"Yeah, like you always do."

"I don't always!"

"With this you do!" Hiccup stood, pushing his chair back hard. "This is _my_ secret dad! I can tell it to whoever I want!"

"And have the whole village knowing? We can't have loose lips getting it out."

Hiccup was angry, so he said something he didn't mean. "And so what if it gets out?! So what?!" Truly, he did want to keep this a secret from the masses, wanted to keep Astrid as his confidant, but he just wanted to know what his father would say. 

"Because they'd shun you, Hiccup! Haven't you had enough of that?"

Hiccup ground his teeth, realizing he'd worked himself into a corner. He really had had enough of that, realized that yes, he probably would be shunned by his people if this got out. He sat down, crossed his arms. 

"People can't know you won't have an heir, Hiccup."

"And then what happens when I _don't_ have an heir?" Hiccup asked, not looking at his father. "When the time comes and Astrid has no baby? What then?"

"You'll have to lie that she's infertile probably," Stoick said with a sigh. "Adopt from someone."

"They'll just want me to take a different wife." Hiccup hated this conversation. He didn't want to think of Astrid as just a vessel for children. She was so much more than that. But, sometimes, when it came to being royalty, lines had to be thought of.

"You can stay by Astrid," Stoick said. "I trust her not to tell anyone."

"Good. You should."

Silence.

"Do you accept me, dad?"

"What?"

Hiccup turned to look at him. "Do you accept me? Astrid does. I just want to know if you do."

"I... You're my son, Hiccup."

"That doesn't mean you accept me."

Stoick looked down, licked his lips, fiddling with his spoon with one hand. It was a while before he spoke. 

"I try, Hiccup," he said. "I try."

Hiccup couldn't take that. He couldn't take trying over real acceptance. Without a word, he stood, grabbed his cloak, and was leaving the house. 

He went to Astrid's. He hoped he wouldn't be interrupting her dinner like his had been interrupted. It was cold out, and he shuffled his feet as he stood on the front stoop and waited for someone to come to the door after his knock.

Mrs. Hofferson opened the door, smiled at him pleasantly. "Oh, Hiccup, come in. We just finished dinner."

 _Thank the gods._ Hiccup didn't want to appear rude, but he didn't want to go back to his house right now either. He gave Mrs. Hofferson a 'thank you' as he was taken into the house and the door shut out the cold behind them. 

"Hey, Astrid, can we talk?" Hiccup asked of the young woman in the dining room.

"Dishes first, young man," Mrs. Hofferson said, handing some dirty dishes to Hiccup. Astrid had some in her hands as well. Hiccup didn't mind being put to work. He'd help this family with anything, and he'd get to talk to Astrid afterwards. 

"What is it?" Astrid asked as they stood over the barrel of soap and water in the kitchen and scrubbed the dishes together.

"Got into a fight with my dad," Hiccup answered lowly, not wanting anyone to hear. Mrs. and Mr. Hofferson had gone to a different room in the house, but Hiccup didn't want to tell Astrid about the argument until they were in her room. 

"About?"

"I'll tell you after."

They finished the dishes in silence, then went up to Astrid's room. Astrid sat on the bed while Hiccup decided to stand. There was a chair at her desk, but he felt like pacing. He was glad he'd left his cloak at the door, or he would have been tripping all over it. 

"What was the fight about?" Astrid asked.

"Me," Hiccup answered. "And you. He's mad that I told you. He wants me to keep this a secret forever."

"There's something else," Astrid said, knowing him well enough to see that he was withholding information.

Hiccup pulled the chair over from her desk, sat across from her. "Yeah." He scratched at his knee. "It's about accepting me." He sighed. "He says he tries. He didn't say that he did. He says he tries."

"Well, that's better than not trying, I guess?"

Hiccup gave Astrid a hard look, and she withdrew her statement with a 'sorry.' 

"I just... you accepted me so readily. I'm nineteen! He's known about this for nineteen years and he still can't accept me! What kind of yak-shit is that?!" Hiccup threw up his hands, angry all over again. He wanted to cry, but not in front of Astrid. Maybe he could do that when he was alone with Toothless. Toothless never judged him for his tears. Not like Astrid would, but...

Oh, there they were. Tears filling up his eyes, brimming over, spilling down his cheeks. 

Astrid suddenly rushed Hiccup in a hug, and he let her, rested his head against her shoulder. "I just want him to accept me for who I am, Astrid! That's all I want! Is it really that hard? Am I that much of a freak?" He sobbed harder, thoughts spiraling out of control. His father wasn't trying to accept him. He hated him. He thought he was a freak. 

Astrid didn't say anything, just rubbed his back and let him cry against her. Hiccup prayed that he wouldn't run into anyone when he left, as it would be all too evident that he'd been crying. 

It was some time before he was able to stop. He stayed hugging Astrid though, comforted by her embrace.

"You deserve acceptance, Hiccup," Astrid told him. "And trying really isn't so bad. I know it feels like it, but trying will lead him there eventually."

Hiccup pulled away, looked at Astrid, then nodded, understanding her words.

"Would your parents mind if I stayed over?" he asked. He didn't want to go home to his father right now, didn't want to go home looking like this.

"Just as long as we don't get up to anything," Astrid said with a wink. Hiccup was alright with that. He was hardly in the mood. He just wanted to sleep, exhausted from crying. 

Hiccup didn't know if Astrid was tired or not, but after he took off his boot and prosthetic, they settled into the bed together, their arms wrapped around each other.

 _Trying is better than nothing,_ Hiccup thought as he drifted off into sleep. _At least he's trying._


End file.
